Life always boils down to choices, and when it comes to dealing with difficulty, we really have two. As the famous poet Maya Angelou put it, “We can change our circumstances or we can change our attitude.” I am a proponent of changing circumstances, no matter how difficult they may seem. But even the most aggressive overcomer can’t change everything. So, what do we do if a situation is beyond our control and we can’t change it no matter how hard we try? That’s when we focus on changing our attitude. These three strategies will help if you need to change your attitude:
- Choose to remain positive. Ralph Marston said, “Remaining positive in a negative situation is not naïve, it’s leadership.” As leaders, whether we are leading ourselves personally, leading a team, or leading an entire organization, we owe it to ourselves and those around us to remain positive. A positive attitude is infectious, and that is what you want to infect the people around you with. It’s not a matter of smiling or faking through difficulty, but choosing to not grumble and complain can make a huge impact on how you endure the situation. I can’t remember the last time a bad attitude changed the outcome of a dilemma anyway.
- Look at the trial as a lesson. Everything that we go through has a purpose in our lives; whether it is difficulty at work, a project that failed, a relationship that failed, or even the loss of a job. Those hit us very hard and can be deeply wounding. But what they all do is that they help us grow by giving us lessons. And every time that we’re in a situation, especially things that are beyond our control, we have to ask ourselves, what is it that I can learn from this situation? Why is this happening? Why was I given the opportunity to learn in the situation? When we encounter our obstacles that way it helps us maintain a productive outlook. The most beautiful flowers are those that have had the most fertilizer!
- Prepare to share the lesson. Finally, and in my opinion, most importantly, you want to look beyond you. It’s one thing for you to learn a lesson. I always say, “I don’t lose, I learn.” But every time we learn we have an opportunity … There’s something else that we’re able to impart to someone else. When we share our lessons learned we grow personally, but we grow our community immensely. So, when we take those opportunities to look beyond ourselves, to find the purpose in that situation, the purpose behind that pain. Whatever trial that you’re dealing with, find a reason for that too, because it never is just about us anyway.
So, remember, if you can’t change your circumstances, you can change your attitude…it’s yours. Keep this in mind as you prepare your goals for next year. Some things you can (and should) change, while some things you need a change of heart toward.